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Aftonbladet In 1998, 1600 rapes were reported to
the Swedish police. If you count the unreported rapes along with that, the
number becomes considerably higher. The singer Tori Amos was raped 15 years
ago. Now she helps others - through her music and the organization RAINN “The rapist has got
the power until you make sure that he doesn’t.” For some reason, I had expected to
see a slightly suspicious girl, with messy hair and odd clothes enter the room
in Grand Hotel in Stockholm. Instead a woman with a traditional haircut and a
completely normal sweater sits down in the couch next to me. Tori Amos could be
mistaken for a Swedish grade-school teacher. The mystique is in her words and her
soft voice. When I ask her how she is, she bursts out in a long monologue,
describing how she spent the day before walking around in the Old Town of
Stockholm. She then goes on to drawing parallels to when she visited the town
four years ago, and then ends with a deep analysis of how she relates to the
older parts of towns. Miscarriage
and rape But nothing she says is nonsense.
There’s a thought behind every sentence. And above all, a true joy in storytelling.
Maybe it’s that joy that encourages her to ignore taboos, and to say what she
thinks is really important instead. “You know, there are
people who have cameras installed in their houses, and who broadcast everything
that they do, around the clock, on the Internet. That’s kind of what I do.” Tori Amos has shocked and fascinated
people ever since her first album “Little Earthquakes” from 1992. Among other
things, she has written about the misscarriage she had in 1996, and how she was
raped when she was 21. Today she runs the organization RAINN (Rape and Incest
National Network), that is trying to spread information and knowledge about
sexualized violence among young people. Every week she gets letters from fans
who have had similar experiences as she has. Surprisingly often it boys, whose
girlfriends have been abused, that write to her. “They say it feels
like they too are violating the girl, because she is stuck in the role of the
victim. It is common to have problems with letting yourself be touched if you
have been raped. You feel like you are being used even though you’re with
someone you love.” Tori Amos has had the same problems.
For several years she has been trying to seek help and to work through what
happened. “It took me a while.
There was just so much shame that I had to get rid of. I had to go back and
relive certain things, but today I feel so much better.” “Boys are confused” Now she understands that the men who
rape are weak persons. “I think they feel
powerless. A strong person doesn’t need to take anything from someone else.
Historically speaking, women’s rights haven’t received any attention at all
until quite recently.” Tori Amos thinks that many people
see the struggle between for equality the sexes as a competition. And that that
results in pain. She also stresses the fact that many women often look at men
in the wrong way. She points at the differences in how you react in a
relationship, when one of the persons loses their job. “The boyfriend takes
his girlfriend in his arms, gets some wine, and takes care of her. When the
boyfriend loses his job, the girl sees it as a turn-off, because men are
expected to be successful. I think there’s a lot of anger bubbling under the
surface of many men. I understand the anger, but it needs to be expressed in
the right way.” Wants
to help others Tori Amos hopes that the terrible
things she’s been through will help her help others. She encourages victims of
rape to talk about it to someone who will listen. |