Professional Widow

“That’s my cornerstone song, my Lady Macbeth. It’s my desire to be king, to have what the big boys have, and giving up my femininity and vulnerability to taste it.” [Diva – Feb/March 1996]

“That’s my Lady Macbeth, the side of me that wanted power. But power in a man’s world. I wanted to be Indiana Jones, not the girlfriend (laughs). But as I began to do that I started to alienate many men. Widow is my hunger for the energy I felt some of the men in my life possessed: the ability to be king. I wasn’t content just being a muse. I was the creative force. I was in relationships with different men where if they could honour that, they couldn’t honour the woman, and if they could honour the woman, they couldn’t honour the creative force.” [Making Music – Jan 1996]

“Professional Widow is the Lady Macbeth archetype. There are many ways to play Lady Macbeth. It can be done in a Jackie O suit. Believe me, I... I like to think that I was clever about it. I don’t think I really was. But I’d like to think I disguised it.” [Really Deep Thoughts #10]

“I was going, ‘Oh, I wanna see him crawl.’ And letting that be there. Wearing a really cute fuzzy pink shoe. And having no limitation of exploring certain facets of the personality. And being shocked and horrified about Professional Widow, and then loving her - just loving the fact that she’s convincing him to kill himself, guaranteeing that Mother Mary will supply. And I said, you really can’t get any lower than that. I love the fact that she said, ‘This is how far I’ve gone - this is where I am at this moment. Are you willing to see that part of yourself? The part that wants his energy, that wants his fame, that wants his light - not recognizing your own.’ It gets to the point where you don’t even have to push him over the edge - you’re just reading him poetry, and that’s enough to make him want to kill himself.” [Aquarian Weekly – Feb 21, 1996]

“As I got to know Widow, I began to really adore her candor. She was so cut off from so many other parts of being, but here she is, deliciously convincing him [i.e., the black widow spider’s doomed male mate] to kill himself so she doesn’t have to leave fingerprints on his body. She’ll make sure he showers before all this begins. She’s ready to extract what she wants until he’s dead. Whatever his addiction is, she’s convincing him that Mother Mary will supply it.” [Musician – May 1996]

“I wanted to go into the hidden parts of the feminine; the way I see it, anyway. We all have our own perspective, men and women, about what the hidden parts of the feminine are. I went after what in some cases have become distorted, such as Professional Widow, the black widow, and when I ran into the widow...[she lets out a sick little laugh] I had to come to terms with the fact that I wanted to be king. And to be this in the patriarchy... I never wanted to be the maiden. I wanted to be the knight that got the castles. I wanted to be the one who got the Land. But still I wanted to have babies; I wanted to be a mother, I wanted to feel that ability to do that. So the role of woman, to have babies and do that, you can’t be a knight too, you can’t do that. And the women who were knights were virgins, the Joan of Arcs... so you are not a sexually active being who wants to be involved and have a baby and a love relationship and be the brains to keep the castle running. And I do not mean the chatelaine... I want to be Patton.” [B-Side – May/June 1996]

“’Give me peace, love, and a hard cock’: because you can’t have one without the other. For her to really say, ‘Are you gay? / Are you blue?’ that same person has had to say ‘Give me peace, love, and a hard cock,’ because if I hear peace and love one more time! That is so full of shit!” [Spin – March 1996]

“I really like her because she’s dead honest. I’ve been a groupie and I wish I hadn’t been, but I was and it happens. I can relate.” [Spin – March 1996]

The Dance Remixes of Professional Widow
Let’s talk about Professional Widow. Were you consulted on that remix?
“Of course. People can’t just take my masters and do what they will with them. You have to understand something. I have total control of my work. I’m very fierce about my music. It’s not for someone to tamper with just because they think they can make a buck. I made a very obscure record last time and Johnny D, a DJ friend of mine in New York, said ‘hey it would be great if you did a few dance remixes’ and suggested this guy van Helden. It was that simple - nobody thought anything would happen with it. I certainly didn’t think it would become, like, a benchmark in dance music.” [Attitude – May 1998]

Well, you can be graphic too. How about the remix of “ Professional Widow “? (“it’s got to be big.”)
“Well, the lyric is ‘Slag pit, stag shit. Honey, bring it close to my lips. Don’t blow those brains yet. It’s got to be big .’ Could be anything - death, a body part. The remix concentrated on a line. Obviously that’s a place where women can really strike, though. Women can really wound a guy in that way if they want to, and that remix could prey on man’s worst fears.” [Esquire – Oct 1999]