Baker Baker

“Baker Baker is kind of tragic in a way, because - I’ve had to look at how I treated men, and on this record, I think with Baker Baker, to deal with a man that truly loved me, but that I wasn’t emotionally available for.You know how women always say men aren’t emotionally available. Well, a lot of women aren’t emotionally available. It’s like, if you’re vulnerable, we say, ‘Look, we need you to be sensitive.’ So you become sensitive, and yet we go, ‘You’ve got no fuckin’ backbone,’ and we kick you in the face and run off with a ski trainer.” [Baltimore Sun – January 1994]

“In Baker Baker, not blaming... that’s where gaining my power is coming from, being able to say I am the one who has not been able to be intimate, I’m the one who pushed him away.”

“I took from the rape that man’s hatred of women, so much so that I couldn’t access parts of myself. It’s as though a computer chip has been put in, to cut out contact with your core self, your central energy source. And that hatred ran so deep that I just numbed myself to survive. Even sexually, after the rape, I became the vampire, I drank but would not let the men drink. And I had to be a hooker to have sex. Having felt I let myself, and all women, down because of my total vulnerability the night I was raped. I then had to continually tell myself I was in complete control, so I had to feel like I was getting paid. Even in Baker Baker, on this album, it says I’m the one who was endlessly unavailable, to Eric, even when having sex. And now the only way I’m getting out of all this is with him. The only way back now having taken so much hatred from one man is to accept so much love from another. But it’s a long, slow process.” [Hot Press (Ireland) - February 23, 1994]

Baker Baker acknowledges that “I was the one that wasn’t emotionally available. We’re always blaming the guys, saying, ‘You’re not sensitive enough; why can’t you just be more understanding?’ And then when they are more sensitive, we kick ‘em in the face and go for the hockey player. It’s like ‘Dominate me, just dominate me. Not long - I’ll time you - just a little!’” [Los Angeles Times - January 30, 1994]