tori quotes from the stage...

December 10, 2001
Frankfurt, Germany

Ok... So um, four years ago, quite a few years ago, I was in the Rhine gal (?), checking out really good wine, something I do from time to time. I like it, it's balanced, I don't wake up and do it. You know, I know you're not my shrink or anything but um, these days in America, if you have a glass of wine, they're ready to like, put you away. So it's um... it's not like that here, is it, have you gone mad? No, you enjoy your life, right, a bit, somewhat? Ok... Um, my last, uh, my craziest horrible nightmare is that Europe becomes this square place and then I'll get very scared.

[A girl in the audience yells, "Not with you here!"]

Thank god. So um, anyway, I was roaming around and made my way to France. Hooked up with some gals. And the craziest thing is, you know, you'd think girls on a holiday would be a good thing. I don't know. I'm not convinced about that. I think we get up into all sorts of problems with too many discussions. And so we ended up having too many discussions and two of them wanted to kill each other. So, I have this idea... maybe I should have called in some counseling, but um, I brought some Krug. That doesn't suck. Hear of Krug? I'm sure half of you have, you like, have it every day. It's really good stuff. When I get a royalty check, this is the shit I get - Krug. Yes. 1985. So I was sitting there, and um, passing it around to all these gals. And they were ready to like, pop each other on the head with it. So I walked away with mine... do-do-do-do-do... I said, I'm leaving with mine. Well, the problem with that was, I had a two-story kinda shmoozy thing going and I forgot that I had these circular stairs... and these platform shoes...

[begins Playboy Mommy on the wurlitzer...]